Eyes Wide Open

½ Marathon Training
(Photo Journaling what works and what doesn’t on flickr)
This is a long entry, so if you bore easily move on.
Last night on the Biggest Loser there was this dude talking about a challenge where he had to climb a 65 foot tree and then zip line off the tree to the ground. He was scared of heights, so he wouldn’t get on the zip line, he held onto that tree for dear life. Finally he said that he started chanting to himself
“New me, new me, new me!” and he lept off that tree stand. As he was zipping down to the ground, in his mind he saw the old him hanging on to the tree, trying to pull new him back. He said at that moment he knew he would never be the same. Listening to his story I had a break thru.
During my last long walk, I hit a wall, the pain was miserable, my Ipod was dead and it was cold outside. I could stop, but knew I had to move on. And to mysel f I said, “I can do this, I can do this.” That is when I pushed thru to mile six and then seven and then 8.
All my life I’ve been afraid. Afraid to make a mistake, afraid to fail, afraid to look stupid. Afraid people won’t like me.
As I pushed thru the pain, I realized I’m not scared any longer. I’ve come to a level of acceptance. I’m not afraid to fail anymore. If I fail, it doesn’t mean I’m stupid or a failure. It just means that I failed. I’ll Dust myself off and try, try again.
Good self esteem doesn’t mean I’m proud or arrogant, it just means that I’m ok with my limitations.
On that trail in the cold, and without an Ipod to distract my mind, I said goodbye to the Old scaredy cat Jaymie and Hello to –new- and- improved- ready- to- live-life-in-technicolor- Jaymie.
______*________*
*Note to self* There can be beauty from pain.

Training

Yes, that's right Training.



Never thought that would be a part of my daily vocabulary or even my daily thought process.



But here I am $80 poorer and more excited than I've been about something in many many years.



Jaymie the vanilla life girl set a goal to walk the 1/2 marathon in April. Talk about stretching myself. Talk about pushing myself. Ugh.



Thanks to my good friend Kim who reminded me that I'm complacent. Told me she wanted me to stretch. I fought it at first, laughed at her to deter the focus off me and my need to be in control.



You see, by setting goals that I KNEW I could reach I was cheating myself of the adrenaline rush of being afraid of NOT meeting the goal. Striving to reach it, pushing myself in physical and mental ways.



And now as I prepare for 13.1 miles in April I find my soul soaring! My heart racing! My bladder dying to be emptied! (does this happen to everyone - when nervous or just me?)







I will chronicle my training here. What's working, whats not.



What I'm learning about me and the inner athlete that I know exists!

(Picture is me and My Mister after 5 miles at 3.6 MPH)

Mom, I need 200 Cool Whip Bowls Please!

Can I say how much I love having a mother that hoards stuff?

I used to think that the vintage baby food jars, and 200 Cool Whip tubs were a little excessive. But now that I've been digging thru her fabric stash, I'm glad she likes to save things.

One thing I love about my mother, if you ever needed an empty cake frosting tub or recycled disposable silverware you could get it from her.

Looking for that vintage album by Dean Martin "Happiness is..."? Got it.

How about every single Osmond album, or Donna Summer 8 track tape? Got it.

She gave me a stack of albums to try to find new homes for. Next I will get those baby food jars to the recycle bin.

However, for now, you can check out fabric that I've had her release into the world, at my etsy store

http://www.1wish1dream.etsy.com/

Ow. What was I thinking?

So, on Saturday I was at this great big mall in Nashville. I'm not much of a mall shopper any more, but my sister had free premier passes to the movie "Penelope" and I walked about the mall afterward.

You see, I've been feeling the need for personal expression lately. Not sure why, perhaps its a 42 year old woman thing. I had a terrific makeover last week, cutting and coloring my hair and I feel marvelous! (see my flickr page for Extreme Makeover - Me Edition)
But it just wasn't enough. Honestly, it has come down to getting something pierced or tattooed. REALLY.
I love little delicate diamond studs in a nostril. I think it is the cutest piercing! Imagine walking into my workplace with a nose piercing?
I work for the FARMERS co-op, for 12 "good old boys" I really don't know if I would be able to wear it to work.
So then I thought, well, a little tattoo would be sexy and hideable. But where to put it? shoulder? back? ankle?
I couldnt decided.

so I pierced my ear cartilidge. I LOVE IT. its about 1/2 way up my ear. A little silver stud and I bought a hoop to put in when its ready.
Let me tell you I feel like a little rebel.
And oddly empowered.
WEIRD.
Must have been that Penelope movie. Which by the way was excellent girl power movie. Rated pg. but good either way!
http://www.penelopethemovie.com

All hell breaks lose

Shall we talk about Japan?
I don't know anything about Japan... really. I know the people are gorgeous, the climate looks to be tropical, and they have really cute fabric.
My Brother in law and his family are stationed in Japan right now. He and his wife are in the Marines (boo-ya) They have two beautiful daughters, and two dogs... well three dogs.
You see, one of their dogs, Noah a Dalmatian, was too big to travel internationally. There is a weight limit and Noah with his crate weighed 99 pounds, 1 lb less than the weight limit of 100 pounds. So, Noah came to live with us.
He is a great dog, mellow and laid back that is until a storm passes thru. Then all hell breaks lose.
Imagine what a large amount of destruction a large dog will bring about in the midst of hysteria.
I've had to replace several shower curtains. He shreds them. no joke. shreds. like a shredder.
Anyway,
I've always loved Dalmatians ever since 101 Dalmatians, like most girls from that era. right? My husband has never seen that movie. He is so deprived, really. He's missed a lot of good Disney movies. I can't wait till we have grandbabies, I'll make him sit thru every Disney movie I can!

Funny how I can go from Japan, to Noah and his shredding and then to Disney movies. Maybe I should be a writer. (ha)

A Fish Called Wanda

Ok, can I talk about aquariums for a second. I love them.
Word.


On my desk at work I have a itty bitty aquarium, its only one gallon, so I can only have one fish. I figured if I can only have one, I wanted to have the most I could have for that one little tank. So I bought a blue and red betta fish.
When I hold a mirror up to his tank, he puffs up and his blue and red turns into purple in some spots. Around his gills and such. His pretty blue tail gets white pin stripes in it.

His name is Wanda. Yes, you heard me HIS name is Wanda.
Have you seen the movie “A fish Called Wanda”? Its one of my favorite movies.. The part at the end where the guy gets rolled over with the steam roller…. Whoot whoot! Cracks me up just thinking of if. Anyway, I always name my fishies Wanda. At least one of them.

Today I traveled to Oprymills Mall in Nashville. Now, its just another mall, But, the Aquarium Restaurant kicks butt. The tour begins walking under a tunnel of fish. What a fun way to feel like a fish! Then we walked into the restaurant to view the ginormous tank. Oh my, sharks, eels, sting rays, flat fish, spotted fish, black and orange fish. I could have stayed for hours watching the fish. However, life goes on and I was blocking the view of the people eating.